When men scream......

September 11, 2018

Viewpoint

Wekesa the chef

The foot of Longonot

Quenching thirst

A day comes in a man's life when you must decide what is important in your life.
And one of those days happened to me, i am a family man and that is something sacred, i work many hours and with utmost dedication that you would get, and especially in the past one year it has not been an easy one.
After pushing the body for over a year with no leave days, with pressure from work and other hustles (read political), i decided to tone it down and take a breather.
Last week i met a few people, casually called Fantastic, Don, Kirere and Sherry. The five of us settled on taking a day off of our usual engagements and run around and see what Kenya has to offer.
The itinerary was to run from 5am to 10pm.
First, Kenyans are yet to master the art of keeping time, ask Don and his sister Fantastic on this.
We ideally left Kigumo at 6.30am. An hour later we were in Kiambu's hub of business, Githurai and yes,Sherry missed our car for a few minutes, yaani alipotea.
Shade, she asked why we had settled on the Turbo charged D4, na vile bei ya mafuta iko yuuuuu (inert Kalondu accent).
I have done Defensive driving so i keep my eye sharp and focused when on the wheel and 53 minutes later we were at Viewpoint, took photos as typical Kenyans who have FOMO.
Oh did i also mention that the car stereo had decided to act up and i fixed it? Engineers in the house feel me...
Fast forward we missed the Longonot exit because we had relied on Kirere's map on his phone, but as expected, Fantastic saved the day.
Then we settled to eating some early lunch before getting to the hiking bit.
Don ate three chapos and ndengu, Kirere had four, ndengu and tea, Sherry and Fantastic decided that Ndengu was not their portion and i was all smiles knowing hunger would strike.
I ate the combination of chapo, ndengu and tea before we went to the snack shop to purchase drinks to cool ourselves off, with Sherry and i buying some ice cold Krest,,., where are emojis on Word document guys?
Despite being late, Don and Fantastic left their IDs, and this was a bit of an issue at the gate before we eventually ascended the 3km hike.
KUJICHOCHA is a Kenyan term meaning chest thumping for people on some things, the three musketeers did it and within 15 minutes had left Sherry and i about 700 metres behind, but the first rule of hiking is walk in the pace of your heartbeat and we casually walked past them and got to the peak, or rather rim of Longonot exactly one hour, did i say that we were making sips....
When the others eventually dragged their bodies at the top, Kirere immediately took a snooze and yes, we documented it.
Don was lying his tired body on some young man who eventually gave up and walked away in protest. Fatnsatic, well, she was done and out though she insists that she walked up with two young kids who were actually supporting her to the top...
In the spirit of proving a point, down the three went and left us, apparently to eat some eggs.
Sherry anmd i enjoyed our slow walk down catching up on matters if international security and GDP of our Country, including VAT issues we are reading about.....pun intended.
We then proceeded to Hell's Gate and as usual the documentation is in safe hands.
Don and Sherry wanted to ride bikes, hapa hawajui ni kizungu mkuti.
Lake Naivasha came calling and sisi hao, after going into the two most prestigious hotels along the line (i will not name them because they did not pay for airtime) we settled on a boat ride in the hippo-infested lake.
Don screamt, cried and could not even take photos, i am not si sure about his pants.....Kirere was on the hand tongue tied, all he wanted was to leave the waters and go watch from the lake side. He actually said that if being near hippos is a test of manhood he would rather be referred to as otherwise......Reminds me of Semenya.
I am still proud of Sherry and Fantastic, the two ladies wanted us closer to get a better view, i had to take a camera from Don to capture these beautiful creatures who were enjoying their time in the now full lake.
Tony bought some fish and yes, Sherry is a good photographer.
At 7pm we proceeded to Kikopey for Nyama because , i mean, who goes to the Rift and dos not enjoy steak from that heavenly place.
Nyama was awesome, but Don and his calls (anti-social behaviour) definitely left hungrier, but anyway he did justice to the bones.
An hour later, we left and snaked our way towards home, Don had purchased a can of some lager that he and Fantastic sipped and 13 seconds later were both drooling in slumber.
About two hours later we were in CBD's finest joint where i picked a bottle of water and eeeer, yes water to quench my thirst and head back to the hub of Murang'a county.
Fast forward, i left the driver's seat and was at the back next to Sherry debating on how we are going to survive this VAT among other millions of issues Kenya is facing......
END OF PART ONE.....

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